Often, a trivial event serves as the catalyst. The trigger today was the sound of paper sticking together when I tried to flip through an old book kept on a shelf too close to the window. It's a common result of humidity. I found myself hesitating for a long moment, carefully detaching the sheets individually, and his name emerged once more, silent and uninvited.
One finds a unique attribute in esteemed figures like the Sayadaw. One rarely encounters them in a direct sense. Or perhaps they are perceived only from afar, transmitted through anecdotes, reminiscences, and partial quotations that no one can quite place. With Tharmanay Kyaw Sayadaw, I feel like I know him mostly through absences. A lack of showmanship, a lack of haste, and a lack of justification. Such silences communicate more than a multitude of words.
I remember seeking another's perspective on him once In a casual, non-formal tone. Just a casual question, as if I were asking about the weather. The person gave a nod and a faint smile, then remarked “Ah, Sayadaw… he possesses great steadiness.” That was the extent of it, with no further detail. At first, I felt a little unsatisfied with the answer. In hindsight, I see that reply as being flawless.
It’s mid-afternoon where I am. The light is dull, not golden, not dramatic. Just light. I find myself sitting on the floor today, for no identifiable cause. Perhaps my spine desired a different sort of challenge this morning. I find myself contemplating steadiness and its actual uniqueness. While wisdom is often discussed, steadiness appears to be the greater challenge. It is easy to admire wisdom from a distance. Steadiness must be lived in close proximity, throughout each day.
Throughout his years, Tharmanay Kyaw Sayadaw endured vast shifts Political upheavals, societal transitions, and cycles of erosion and renewal which appears to be the hallmark of contemporary Myanmar's history. Yet, when individuals recall his life, they don't emphasize his perspectives or allegiances They speak primarily of his consistency. He served as a stationary reference point amidst a sea of change It is difficult to understand how one can maintain that state without turning stiff. That particular harmony feels incredibly rare
A small scene continues to replay in my thoughts, even if I am uncertain if my recollection is entirely accurate. A bhikkhu slowly and methodically adjusting his traditional robes, as though he possessed all the time in the world. It might have been another individual, not Tharmanay Kyaw Sayadaw. The mind often fuses different individuals in memory. But the sense of the moment remained strong. That impression of not being hurried by external pressures.
I often ask myself what the cost of that specific character might be. Not in a dramatic fashion, but in the simple cost of daily existence. The quiet offerings that others might not even recognize as sacrifices. Choosing not to engage in certain conversations. Allowing misconceptions to go uncorrected. Allowing people to see in you whatever they require I am unsure if he ever contemplated these issues. It could be that he didn't, and that may be the very heart of it.
My hands are now covered in dust from the old book. I wipe it away without thinking. Writing these words feels a bit unnecessary, and I check here mean that kindly. Utility is not the only measure of value. On occasion, it is sufficient simply to recognize. that specific lives leave a profound imprint. without feeling the need to explain their own existence. I perceive Tharmanay Kyaw Sayadaw in exactly that way. An influence that is experienced rather than analyzed, as it should be.